Then, one day, I went to pick Raymond up early. I turned up at the nursery and, looking through the window, saw Raymond standing in his cot, absolutely sobbing. His face had gone red. I waited for someone to go and comfort him, but no one moved a muscle. All the staff were in the corner taking no notice. He wasn?t the only baby crying. Four more were bellowing their heads off. I stormed into the room, picked Raymond up and asked Gemma what on earth she and her staff thought they were doing.
?It?s their quiet time,? she explained. ?We don?t pick them up during quiet time.?
?He was crying,? I said. ?He needs cuddling.?
She said that the nursery had rules and regulations. ?I?m sorry,? she said, ?but that?s how we get the children to adjust.?
This is the problem with nursery care; one size has to fit all. Staff have to stick to a routine in order to survive day-in, day-out with a rotating set of children. The trouble is, children don?t work this way. They are all different, with their different characteristics and needs. What I witnessed is something I have heard from other parents time and time again. Essentially, many feel let down by the quality of care and the lack of real affection shown to their children by day-care staff.
Still, I tried again, at a different centre, with my next two children, both boys ? but they also hated it. My older boy complained the carers did nothing with him; the younger refused to eat any food that was cooked for him. Every time I dropped them off, they would both cry. I would stand there with two wailing children attached to my legs. The day they point-blank refused to get out of the car, I gave up.
By the time it came to my fourth and last child, my daughter, Sparkle, (pictured above, aged two), I didn?t bother with nursery. All she has ever done is go to a local playgroup for a few mornings a week.
Now she?s at school, and her teacher is amazed she never went to nursery. ?She?s coping so well,? she says. ?She?s so happy and confident.? For me, that?s the upside of not sending her to day care.
I do understand that, for many parents, day care is the only option. Without any close relations living nearby, and not being married to a house-husband, I also felt that way. But I am now fortunate not to have to send my children to nursery, and for that I am extremely grateful.
Read Victoria Lambert for the other side of this debate.
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