Right, ladies, hang up that teleconference call immediately. Hold it there, Missy, the NASDAQ can wait! What?s that you say? You?re immersed in a radical programme of infrastructural investment in order to plug the nation?s multi-billion pound public sector pension deficit?
Yes, yes, but your husband is due home any moment, and I have it on the highest authority that unless you change into a nice frock, cook his supper and rustle up a plate of homemade petit fours, You Are A Complete Failure And He Will Leave You. Worse, he won?t mend that glitch on your laptop because everyone (OK, Kirstie Allsopp) says that chaps are more contented on a nice full tummy. And what greater index of success could there be than a contented chap?
Maybe it?s down to Mad Men withdrawal ? the next series isn?t due to be aired here until next year ? but, in recent days, it?s been hard to escape the unnerving feeling that we are being metaphorically shoehorned into wasp- waisted dresses and chivvied back to the twin tub.
Not by men, they?re far less judgmental, and I would aver, not nearly so competitive, but by The Sisterhood, who have taken to sternly admonishing us that all this emancipation silliness has gone quite far enough.
First there was Homemaker to the Nation Kirstie Allsopp telling us that women should put their partners first as a matter of principle. Then came Downton Abbey actress Michelle Dockery wistfully lamenting the death of old-fashioned chivalry, which was rapidly rebutted by newsreader Emily Maitlis, who claimed that gallantry was alive and well and that men may no longer open doors, but they are swift to assist damsels in distress sobbing over an HTTP Error 500 message flashing on their computer screen.
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